There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
