Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
