i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
