on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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