i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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