I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm too high and old for this...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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