I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
