the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize