Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
