He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
