man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
