shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
