I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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