If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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