I think i peed on brittanys purse
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So many bounce houses so little time
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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