Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
pop tarts are not kleenex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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