fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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