He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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