we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
