So drunk its hurt
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
