I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There r osticjed everywhere
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
