What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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