Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
