I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
vagina is talking i cant
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
