I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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