Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
