I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
