he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
