So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
