well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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