Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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