wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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