YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
