i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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