Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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