Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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