come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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