i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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