Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
