I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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