do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
