Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
