At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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