Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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