thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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