some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize