I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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