she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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