K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
