so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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