pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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