Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
