i think i have herpe
just one?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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