lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
