Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
