I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
