But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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