Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
