i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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