You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
