Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
