Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
