My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
