I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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