Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
