Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize